i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
