I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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