So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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