im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
