So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
