Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
