I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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