I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
