I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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