You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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