he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
