ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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