bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
