I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
