I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
