The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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