I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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