he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
