haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
