I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
