if you like me you must not know who I am
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
