sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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