my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
