i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
how drunk are you?
Several
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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