carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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