just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
