we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
