i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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