why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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