Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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