After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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