Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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