Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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