My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
