Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
