Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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