I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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