Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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