Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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