so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
