Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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