I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Randomize
