So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
