That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
