i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
