naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
