No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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