moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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