this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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