Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
