we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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