People in love make me want to vomit
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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