what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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