More tranny stories later!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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