The brown eye won't let me do that either.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
