Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
