Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
God I need to hump something, right now.
I think I just sharted jello shots
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
