i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
