so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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